5 Signs Of An Incompatible Relationship & 3 Signs You’ve Found “The One"

The podcast discusses the signs of an incompatible relationship and how to determine if a partner is 'the one'. It emphasizes that individuals should prioritize their values and needs, while using the 'ABC Loop' method to communicate effectively with partners and determine if a relationship is worth pursuing or ending. Ultimately, the conclusion is that prioritizing one's truth and needs, even if it leads to ending a relationship, is vital for a fulfilling and happy life.

Relationship Compatibility

• 00:10:54 Compatibility is often misunderstood, and it's common to be attracted to someone who isn't a good fit. If a relationship feels harder than it should be, there's tension, and you dread seeing their name, it may indicate incompatibility. While a good person might not be great for you, recognizing issues and communicating with your partner can potentially make the relationship better.

3 Relationship Mistakes

• 00:15:02 Three common mistakes people make when questioning relationship compatibility are: 1) Chasing potential rather than accepting reality, 2) ignoring misaligned values that are unlikely to change, and 3) focusing on the 20% of 'nice-to-have' qualities while overlooking the 80% of crucial, deep values. Recognizing these mistakes can help couples understand the root of their challenges.

The ABC Loop Method

• 00:22:31 The 'ABC Loop' is a technique for communicating relationship concerns using Apologize (A) by owning your part in the issues and asking open-ended questions; Back off (B) and observe their behavior to see if they're willing to change; and Celebrate (C) any positive change and model the change yourself. This method helps address issues without pressuring the other person.

Partner's Health

• 00:25:23 When a partner lets their health go, it's natural to want them to change. However, pressuring them often causes resistance. Instead, the ABC Loop suggests apologizing for pressuring them, asking open-ended questions about their feelings regarding their health, and modeling healthy behavior. If they don't change after 3 months, it might be a deal breaker.

Core Values & Children

• 00:50:00 Disagreements on core values, such as whether or not to have children, can create tension in relationships. The ABC Loop is applicable here, where individuals apologize for pressuring their partner, ask open-ended questions about their stance on having children, and back off to observe their behavior. After 3 months of observing behavior and using the ABC Loop, determine if this difference is a deal breaker.

Deal Breaker Definition

• 00:41:48 A deal breaker in a relationship is an issue that you cannot stop complaining about, which suggests that the issue deeply matters to you and is not something you are willing to compromise on. If a partner shows no change in behavior after a three-month period of using the ABC loop, and the issue remains a constant source of frustration, it may be a deal breaker.

Prioritize Truth & Needs

• 01:07:07 When deciding whether to stay in or leave a relationship, prioritize what you know to be true. If the relationship is healthy and supportive, the truth strengthens it. If the relationship isn't right, the truth reveals that. Trust your intuition and fight for your truth, seeking alignment and support from your partner.

Signs of a Good Partner

• 01:07:50 Signs of a good partner include someone who is willing to grow with you, is kind, loyal to friends and family, and listens to you. These qualities form the foundation of a successful relationship. A good partner chooses you back, makes you a priority, and cares about your well-being. A relationship should make you feel alive, supported, and free.