What Every Mom Needs to Hear Today

In this episode of the Mel Robbins podcast, Mel and her colleague Jesse, who is about to become a first-time mom, discuss the fears and pressures associated with motherhood and strategies for navigating them. Mel shares her experiences and insights as a mom of three adult children, offering advice on trusting your child, managing guilt, setting boundaries, and prioritizing relationships. The conversation emphasizes the importance of self-compassion and continuous growth as a parent.

Fear of the Unknown

• 00:06:14 Jesse expresses her fears about childbirth, the unknown, and how to be a good mom. She worries about the pain of childbirth and the pressure of raising her daughter 'right'. Mel reassures Jesse that her body knows what to do and that it's important to trust in her daughter's journey and her own instincts as a parent.

Redefining Motherhood

• 00:10:32 Mel challenges Jesse’s notion of 'doing it right,' suggesting that focusing on perfection can create anxiety for both the parent and child. She emphasizes trusting in the child's path and holding space for both nervousness and trust. Mel defines parenting as holding space for one's own experiences and the unique experiences of another human being, guiding and supporting their growth.

Parental Mismatch

• 00:18:45 Mel introduces the concept of 'parental mismatch,' where parents may not always be able to meet their children's needs due to their own emotional immaturity, trauma, or stress. She shares her personal experiences of struggling with emotional regulation and financial stress, which created a mismatch between what her children needed and what she could provide. Mel stresses the importance of self-awareness, emotional maturity, and apologizing to children for past mistakes.

Being a Guide

• 00:22:50 Mel describes parenting as being a guide who helps a child become who they're supposed to be, rather than dictating who they should be. She emphasizes creating a safe environment for children to explore their interests and make their own decisions, even if they differ from parental expectations. Mel advocates for asking children, 'Do you want my advice, or do you just want me to listen?' to empower them and respect their autonomy.

Managing Guilt

• 00:37:35 Mel discusses the different types of guilt that mothers experience, distinguishing between destructive guilt imposed by societal expectations and productive guilt tied to core values. She advises recognizing when guilt is simply societal pressure and when it signals a need to re-evaluate priorities and boundaries. Mel emphasizes that working to provide for one's family is not something to feel guilty about but rather a responsible and valuable contribution.